This post originally appeared on my other blog, but I realized you folks would almost certainly get a kick out it. I originally wrote it last January, before my job ended and I became a stay-at-home-dad.
****
We have two dogs (and three cats, but that’s a story for another day). Hubert, a three-year old Great Dane, and George, a 3.5-month old – something. He shows signs of Dane, Lab, and German Shepherd. Odds are he’ll be pretty big, though not as big as Hubert, who is skinny at 120lbs.
Hubert is a peculiar creature. All dogs have personalities of their own, but some have more than others. Hubert is one of those. There’s no need to go into all his traits. For now we need only recall that when he gets upset about something, he has a tendency to grab low-hanging food and eat it. And being a Great Dane, just keeping stuff on a counter or table isn’t enough if he is determined. Being left alone all day when it looked like Trish or myself was going to stay home is something that upsets him; and trust me, he knows by how we dress if we’re likely to stay home. In particular, he takes note of Trish’s shoes.
But I digress.Yesterday, I picked the munchkin up at day care and we got home. He headed up to let George out of his crate, and I let Hubert outside to take care of business.Then I noticed the onion. Or rather, the bits of dried onion skin on the floor.
There was a bag of red onions (big red onions) on the edge of the kitchen table, with the bag opening hanging over the side. This did not look good.While Jake proceeded to watch a little TV (PBS, natch), I hurried through the house looking for signs of onion. I couldn’t imagine Hubert, Mr. Finicky himself, eating an entire red onion, but there was no sign of a partially chewed and spat out onion anywhere. And George had been in the crate all day, so he couldn’t have done it. I tried calling Trish, but she wasn’t in her office or answering her cell phone.
I decided I’d better call the vet, a place that should be on our speed-dial.The vet people were a bit taken aback at the idea a dog would eat a red onion, but promised to look it up.
One of the many nice things about having a really big dog is that it takes a lot of whatever is bad for them to make them sick. But the onions in that bag were at least as big as my fist. At any rate, I was hoping that we would only have some really bad gas to deal with (our recently deceased Dane mix Chester once got into some moldy bread. Even the French would have voted in favor of the UN resolution to disarm the resulting gaseous WMD).
No such luck. Although no toxic dose was found for a dog of Hubert’s size, red onion could do unpleasant things to a dog’s liver and thus his blood. They recommended I try to induce vomiting, and if I couldn’t get that to work, to call the emergency vet for more advice. Oy. I tried calling Trish again, no luck. I made a last-ditch effort to find a partially chewed onion carcass in all the places Hubert normally liked to lie down. No dice. I began to sweat. I fielded a call from Trish’s father, a retired pathologist, but he had little advice except to remain upwind.
I gathered up the hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting. You ever try to get something that legitimately wears a horse bridle instead of a collar to take hydrogen peroxide? Yeah, I didn’t think so.The phone rang. It was Trish. I asked her about a missing onion.
She laughed. I resisted an urge to strangle someone. She told me about how George had gotten himself an onion, carried it upstairs, and taken a nice big bite. And immediately spat it back out again and got as far from the offending vegetable as possible. I looked deeply into the trashcan, and found the onion.
“Is everything okay?” She asked.
“It is now,” I replied, and allowed myself to fall into post-adrenaline rush collapse.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Ahead Flush Factor Four...
We are thankfully done with potty training, but my friend Mark will get his chance in a year or three. I'm just glad they didn't have this sort of thing when we were working with Jacob:
Oh sure, I know, you probably already have a laser in your toilet. But does yours make noise? When this one first turns on, it sounds like Microsoft Windows starting up. It's a nice little chime, and while it doesn't explicitly ask, "Where do you want to go today?", you know that's what it's thinking.
Found on The Trixie Update.
Oh sure, I know, you probably already have a laser in your toilet. But does yours make noise? When this one first turns on, it sounds like Microsoft Windows starting up. It's a nice little chime, and while it doesn't explicitly ask, "Where do you want to go today?", you know that's what it's thinking.
Found on The Trixie Update.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
What Is It About Errands, Anyway?
One thing I had not counted on when started this kind of blog was getting worried that I'd start to repeat myself. And its only been what, 3-4 months? Still, there are things that keep coming up in my mind, even if they haven't made it onto the blog. I hope.
Like the need to run errands. This week, for example, I am going to spend at least part of every day away from the house. Why is this? I really do not know how it happens every week, but I seem to have to leave at least 3 out of every 5 days.
You have your groceries, then the inevitable forgotten items, a run to the Lowe's for a sprinkler and sandpaper. The dogs need to see the vet, something is happening at school. The car needs an oil change, you need to make copies of some documents, then they need to be mailed from the mailbox store because you need the correct postage. Stuff needs to go to/ get picked up from the cleaner's. And on and on. And it always takes longer than you expect, which certainly plays hob with your desire to get the 196,483 little items done around the house.
And we haven't gotten into the trekking out to Jake's karate classes, which I don't count.
It's really strange. I can view paintings hanging across the ocean in the Louvre without moving from my desk, but to get dog food I have to drive 3 miles. And no, I do not intend to walk those miles with a 40lb bag of Senior Canine Hip&Joint Formula slung over my shoulder.
Like the need to run errands. This week, for example, I am going to spend at least part of every day away from the house. Why is this? I really do not know how it happens every week, but I seem to have to leave at least 3 out of every 5 days.
You have your groceries, then the inevitable forgotten items, a run to the Lowe's for a sprinkler and sandpaper. The dogs need to see the vet, something is happening at school. The car needs an oil change, you need to make copies of some documents, then they need to be mailed from the mailbox store because you need the correct postage. Stuff needs to go to/ get picked up from the cleaner's. And on and on. And it always takes longer than you expect, which certainly plays hob with your desire to get the 196,483 little items done around the house.
And we haven't gotten into the trekking out to Jake's karate classes, which I don't count.
It's really strange. I can view paintings hanging across the ocean in the Louvre without moving from my desk, but to get dog food I have to drive 3 miles. And no, I do not intend to walk those miles with a 40lb bag of Senior Canine Hip&Joint Formula slung over my shoulder.
Monday, October 25, 2004
The Weekender
Busy weekend. Fun, but busy. Herewith my observations of taking Jake out of school on Friday and dashing off to Houston for Friday and Saturday:
The Houston Children's Museum is way cool. Jacob thought so too, judging from his bouncing.
The Houston Museum of Natural Science is pretty cool, too. Saw exhibits on the Dead Sea Scrolls and the treasures of Tibet. The scrolls exhibit used little MP3 players with headphones to explain a lot of the stuff. Jacob listened to all of the kid level ones and many of the adult as well.
Churrascos is as good as ever. I think the plantain breaded fried shrimp was not quite as good as the last time. Which means it is still in the top two of fried shrimp I've ever had anywhere (the other place being the King's Inn, located on the Texas Gulf Coast near the small town of Riviera).
You can still educate 1st graders better by an occasional outing than leaving them in school every single day, but its getting harder. The little nipper know 6 x 7 = 42, which was a lot more than I could do at that age.
Getting dressed up for the Renaissance Festival works out okay, even in the rain, as long as you have a big hat. It quit raining after lunch, but for a while there I managed to be both hot and cold at the same time, something I don't think I've ever done before.
And finally...
One should take advantage of the chances to do things like this. Near the end of church yesterday, I watched Jake crawl into his mom's lap to snuggle. He just did it, totally unselfconscious about it, because he wanted to. He's almost physically too big for that now, but how many more years until he's emotionally too big for that? Two? Three? And how fast will those years go by? Better not waste them.
The Houston Children's Museum is way cool. Jacob thought so too, judging from his bouncing.
The Houston Museum of Natural Science is pretty cool, too. Saw exhibits on the Dead Sea Scrolls and the treasures of Tibet. The scrolls exhibit used little MP3 players with headphones to explain a lot of the stuff. Jacob listened to all of the kid level ones and many of the adult as well.
Churrascos is as good as ever. I think the plantain breaded fried shrimp was not quite as good as the last time. Which means it is still in the top two of fried shrimp I've ever had anywhere (the other place being the King's Inn, located on the Texas Gulf Coast near the small town of Riviera).
You can still educate 1st graders better by an occasional outing than leaving them in school every single day, but its getting harder. The little nipper know 6 x 7 = 42, which was a lot more than I could do at that age.
Getting dressed up for the Renaissance Festival works out okay, even in the rain, as long as you have a big hat. It quit raining after lunch, but for a while there I managed to be both hot and cold at the same time, something I don't think I've ever done before.
And finally...
One should take advantage of the chances to do things like this. Near the end of church yesterday, I watched Jake crawl into his mom's lap to snuggle. He just did it, totally unselfconscious about it, because he wanted to. He's almost physically too big for that now, but how many more years until he's emotionally too big for that? Two? Three? And how fast will those years go by? Better not waste them.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Off Into the Wild Blue
Only for a couple of days, though. Off to Houston for various kinds of fun and the Texas Renaissance Festival. Kind of a last-minute thing, but now my next few days are very busy. Blogging to resume Tuesday, probably. A good weekend to all except Colorado Buffalo Fans! Heh.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Minor Bummer
Last night, I found out that the acting class I had signed up wasn't going to have enough students to go forward. We had four, we needed six. There had been six signups, but two of them never showed. Our instructor said that wasn't uncommon for this class. The problem for those people was likely the thing that attracted me in the first place: the class puts on a performance at the end. You don't just practice being an actor, you get to do it, live and on stage with no nets.
One thing I've hoped I might be able to do if I pursue the stay-at-home route is return to this long (delayed? sublimated? restrained?) love of mine. I got the acting bug back in high school, like a lot of people. I was in three plays (should have been in four, I'm told, but the director stuck his favorite in), got Best Actor once, All-Star Cast the other times. I also did other stuff on the Speech Team. Probably my finest hour came when I and three friends did a little skit in the finals of a tournament and got both a standing ovation and a encore! After, I had bit parts in college plays, made extra on a few movies, but nothing that really satisfied.
Any performer can tell you that a sincere standing "O" is pretty much the best feeling you can get short of marriage, births, or illegal drugs. Indeed, the one complaint I have about our otherwise excellent local theater is that the audiences are way too generous with standing ovations. Almost every performance I've seen has gotten one. Those folks are good, but not that good. Anyway, even plain old applause short of the standing "O" is worthy, and its been too long since I got to hear that. It's an amazing rush when you know the crowd is with you, and you can feel it on the stage. It's easier to tell with comedy, since you have the immediate feedback of laughter (or silence when there should be laughter) but even with drama you can sense what's going on out there most of the time.
Ah well, I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer for the next go-round. At least now I know I'm waiting for the opportunity to come by, not for the time to take it...
One thing I've hoped I might be able to do if I pursue the stay-at-home route is return to this long (delayed? sublimated? restrained?) love of mine. I got the acting bug back in high school, like a lot of people. I was in three plays (should have been in four, I'm told, but the director stuck his favorite in), got Best Actor once, All-Star Cast the other times. I also did other stuff on the Speech Team. Probably my finest hour came when I and three friends did a little skit in the finals of a tournament and got both a standing ovation and a encore! After, I had bit parts in college plays, made extra on a few movies, but nothing that really satisfied.
Any performer can tell you that a sincere standing "O" is pretty much the best feeling you can get short of marriage, births, or illegal drugs. Indeed, the one complaint I have about our otherwise excellent local theater is that the audiences are way too generous with standing ovations. Almost every performance I've seen has gotten one. Those folks are good, but not that good. Anyway, even plain old applause short of the standing "O" is worthy, and its been too long since I got to hear that. It's an amazing rush when you know the crowd is with you, and you can feel it on the stage. It's easier to tell with comedy, since you have the immediate feedback of laughter (or silence when there should be laughter) but even with drama you can sense what's going on out there most of the time.
Ah well, I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer for the next go-round. At least now I know I'm waiting for the opportunity to come by, not for the time to take it...
Monday, October 18, 2004
Time, Again
I blogged once before about how going the stay at home route (for either spouse) gives your family a lot more time to do fun stuff together because you're doing all the stuff that used to get stuffed into the cracks of your workdays and weekends during that vast river of time between 7AM and 5PM.
But I have come to realize that, despite being a lot of time, its not as much time as you think! Yup, when I started this gig, I figured I would be able to read the morning blogs, do the laundry, write long, complex analysis in my political blog (that would change the world you know, or at least the face of American politics), walk the dogs, sweep the floors, deal with the family finances, write an article for a magazine, exercise for 45 minutes, read more books, watch that blood and guts sci-fi comic-booky movie the wife would never want to see, work in the yard, get the groceries, run miscelaneous errands, and play some computer games. And that was just Monday.
Hasn't worked out that way, and if you've been doing this for longer you no doubt are wearing an indulgent smile. Sure, I probably could do more than I actually get done (I'm a famous procrastinator), but even so it would never approach what I thought would happen.
Well, we live and learn, yes? Reality is always such a pisser, as my old buddy Pete would say.
But I have come to realize that, despite being a lot of time, its not as much time as you think! Yup, when I started this gig, I figured I would be able to read the morning blogs, do the laundry, write long, complex analysis in my political blog (that would change the world you know, or at least the face of American politics), walk the dogs, sweep the floors, deal with the family finances, write an article for a magazine, exercise for 45 minutes, read more books, watch that blood and guts sci-fi comic-booky movie the wife would never want to see, work in the yard, get the groceries, run miscelaneous errands, and play some computer games. And that was just Monday.
Hasn't worked out that way, and if you've been doing this for longer you no doubt are wearing an indulgent smile. Sure, I probably could do more than I actually get done (I'm a famous procrastinator), but even so it would never approach what I thought would happen.
Well, we live and learn, yes? Reality is always such a pisser, as my old buddy Pete would say.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Daddy Agonistes
As time marches on, I come closer and closer to deciding that what I want is not to go back to a regular, 9 to 5 type job. But I confess this is something that also makes me feel guilty. I would be making this choice because, well...I like it.
Yes, it sounds ridiculous put that way. Why should we feel guilt for choosing something we like? But this choice, while good in many ways (I'll skip talking about time issues) does have the problem of not likely to be making much money. No, we don't really need the income, but...there is a second-hand couch in the living room right now. If I was working it would be a new one.
It has to be said that even so, we could have afforded a nice new couch. But a thought that we needed to be more careful played a part in that decision, and the fact that thought existed has irked me more than I had thought it would.
And yes, I am well aware of the fact that not being able to afford a nice new Pottery Barn couch is really a pissant level of problem in one's life. But since it connects the issue of what I am choosing to do with my life, it gets a certain kind of magnification.
Of course, getting to choose one's life and having the option of not working full-time is also fairly close to pissant level on the Great Life Problems Meter. But, they are the ones I've got right now. And here I always hated those sorts of "woe is me, the SUV has a scratch and the lawn service can't come before the party this weekend" kind of yuppie suburbanite angst tales, only to find myself living part of one.
Where was I? Ah yes, life choices...Granted, my thoughts were leaning in the direction of getting an acting gig from time to time, and trying to write articles for a magazine, in addition to becoming a true Stay At Home Dad (though I guess that technically would make me a Mostly Stay At Home Dad, or MSAHD). That would make a few bucks from time to time, enough to provide us with some extras. I haven't the foggiest idea how much realism there is in that. I can write, and I can act, Austin gets a fair number of movies, etc. etc.
Can I demonstrate the discipline that writing real magazine articles takes? Its one thing to crank out something like this for a blog every few days. It's quite another to write long articles for publications. And just how good can I act? Better than average, but acting classes or no acting classes, there are a lot of good actors out there working as computer programmers or whatever.
Where did I start? Oh yeah, guilt. Yeah, I'm thinking of taking up a life choice that is, from my POV, very low stress. Nobody is on my case, almost all the deadlines are my own, the commute is very short, it leaves our weekends free, etc. etc (I rhapsodized about the sudden expansion of time in this older post). But the pay is low.
Man, this is a gloomy-sounding post! Thank God for proofreading (which will still fail to catch a missing word or extraneous letter).
I think they call this "buyer's remorse". You get it almost any time you make a major purchase, like a house or a car. No matter how much homework you've done, no matter how many other options you've looked at to arrive at the decision that this is the right one, once you've committed, you spend some time worrying if this really was the right way to go. Well, this is a lot more committment than a house or a car. I think I've touched upon this before.
I hadn't really done very much thinking lately along these lines until I started this post today. Something about writing forces you to think about things you skip over while making sure the chicken is properly defrosted and the celery chopped, I guess. Funny.
And now I can't figure out how to close this. I'm not as gloomy or angst-ridden as the first part of this post sounds, but just saying "I'm fine guys, really!" doesn't seem like its enough. Is this what they call writing yourself into a corner?
I guess it is. Well, yes, I do sometimes worry if I'm doing this just because its fun and easy as opposed to right, but I'd be less than human if I didn't. But I'm also determined not to allow myself to be guilted into a choice I don't want. I guess thats just going to have to do for now.
Yes, it sounds ridiculous put that way. Why should we feel guilt for choosing something we like? But this choice, while good in many ways (I'll skip talking about time issues) does have the problem of not likely to be making much money. No, we don't really need the income, but...there is a second-hand couch in the living room right now. If I was working it would be a new one.
It has to be said that even so, we could have afforded a nice new couch. But a thought that we needed to be more careful played a part in that decision, and the fact that thought existed has irked me more than I had thought it would.
And yes, I am well aware of the fact that not being able to afford a nice new Pottery Barn couch is really a pissant level of problem in one's life. But since it connects the issue of what I am choosing to do with my life, it gets a certain kind of magnification.
Of course, getting to choose one's life and having the option of not working full-time is also fairly close to pissant level on the Great Life Problems Meter. But, they are the ones I've got right now. And here I always hated those sorts of "woe is me, the SUV has a scratch and the lawn service can't come before the party this weekend" kind of yuppie suburbanite angst tales, only to find myself living part of one.
Where was I? Ah yes, life choices...Granted, my thoughts were leaning in the direction of getting an acting gig from time to time, and trying to write articles for a magazine, in addition to becoming a true Stay At Home Dad (though I guess that technically would make me a Mostly Stay At Home Dad, or MSAHD). That would make a few bucks from time to time, enough to provide us with some extras. I haven't the foggiest idea how much realism there is in that. I can write, and I can act, Austin gets a fair number of movies, etc. etc.
Can I demonstrate the discipline that writing real magazine articles takes? Its one thing to crank out something like this for a blog every few days. It's quite another to write long articles for publications. And just how good can I act? Better than average, but acting classes or no acting classes, there are a lot of good actors out there working as computer programmers or whatever.
Where did I start? Oh yeah, guilt. Yeah, I'm thinking of taking up a life choice that is, from my POV, very low stress. Nobody is on my case, almost all the deadlines are my own, the commute is very short, it leaves our weekends free, etc. etc (I rhapsodized about the sudden expansion of time in this older post). But the pay is low.
Man, this is a gloomy-sounding post! Thank God for proofreading (which will still fail to catch a missing word or extraneous letter).
I think they call this "buyer's remorse". You get it almost any time you make a major purchase, like a house or a car. No matter how much homework you've done, no matter how many other options you've looked at to arrive at the decision that this is the right one, once you've committed, you spend some time worrying if this really was the right way to go. Well, this is a lot more committment than a house or a car. I think I've touched upon this before.
I hadn't really done very much thinking lately along these lines until I started this post today. Something about writing forces you to think about things you skip over while making sure the chicken is properly defrosted and the celery chopped, I guess. Funny.
And now I can't figure out how to close this. I'm not as gloomy or angst-ridden as the first part of this post sounds, but just saying "I'm fine guys, really!" doesn't seem like its enough. Is this what they call writing yourself into a corner?
I guess it is. Well, yes, I do sometimes worry if I'm doing this just because its fun and easy as opposed to right, but I'd be less than human if I didn't. But I'm also determined not to allow myself to be guilted into a choice I don't want. I guess thats just going to have to do for now.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Take the Day Off
Today is looking like a simply gorgeous day. Mild, sunny, with a bit of a breeze. Texas gets some payback from its typically miserable Augusts and lame winters with lovely mild weather like this. It's also a school holiday, so Jake and I are going to head out for a bit of miniature golf and video games after he gets done practicing his drums.
We also slept in, ate blueberry muffins and banana for breakfast, and will almost certainly manage a quick run to the grocery store. If I was at work, he would have gotten up at 6AM and be sitting in his day care right now[*]. And I would be making DO loops or some fool thing.
Later, before karate class at 5PM, we might do some soccer or go to a park. Assuming his best buddy across the street isn't home. I am apparently great fun to have around, but 7-year-olds are still WAY cooler. :-)
* Actually, I shouldn't snark about his day care. Bluebonnet was actually a very good place with fun and some teaching, not simply a holding tank. Pricey, however, like most better day cares.
We also slept in, ate blueberry muffins and banana for breakfast, and will almost certainly manage a quick run to the grocery store. If I was at work, he would have gotten up at 6AM and be sitting in his day care right now[*]. And I would be making DO loops or some fool thing.
Later, before karate class at 5PM, we might do some soccer or go to a park. Assuming his best buddy across the street isn't home. I am apparently great fun to have around, but 7-year-olds are still WAY cooler. :-)
* Actually, I shouldn't snark about his day care. Bluebonnet was actually a very good place with fun and some teaching, not simply a holding tank. Pricey, however, like most better day cares.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Dust to Dust. Hair too.
One of the few bad things about Austin from a geographical perspective (other than sitting on a Hellmouth) is that it is Ground Zero for allergens. Austin is the intersection point of several of the areas of major allergy creating molds and pollens. Probably space aliens as well, as anyone who spent much time on South Congress might suspect. So at any point in time, something here making someone sneeze.
I myself do not suffer too much from allergies, though like most people I get them in the spring. Right now is a bad time for ragweed, apparently. Bad enough that I've actually had to take antihistamines from time to time over the last 2-3 weeks. Trish has suffered a lot more, especially in the past week. It doesn't help matters much that she reacts strongly to all antihistamines we've tried. You know that bit about operating heavy machinery? They wrote that for her, poor thing. Again, that's something I don't suffer from. Kind of a cosmic joke that I don't need the medication as much and also don't suffer from its most common side effect.
Because of all this, I've tried to be a bit better on matters related to dust. Now, you might imagine that in a house with two cats, three dogs, and a six-year-old boy, there would be a fair amount of dust and hair to get up. I certainly imagined, but the reality is amazing. I feel like I gather enough animal hair every two days to make a small dog or cat. And enough dust that God could whip up another Adam at least twice a week, should He feel like it. Or if you're looking to start making your own island, I can help you out.
Before I stayed at home, the floor might get swept twice a week -- if that. Most likely it was once a week, Friday. That's when we have someone come over to do housecleaning. Yes, she still comes over. Cleaning was never my strong suit. And she does stuff I'd never even think of, like dusting off pictures on the wall. Anyway, I shudder to think of the amount of dust and hair and what-not she used to find.
I think I'd better go deal with the air filters now. They don't last three months at our house like the label says.
I myself do not suffer too much from allergies, though like most people I get them in the spring. Right now is a bad time for ragweed, apparently. Bad enough that I've actually had to take antihistamines from time to time over the last 2-3 weeks. Trish has suffered a lot more, especially in the past week. It doesn't help matters much that she reacts strongly to all antihistamines we've tried. You know that bit about operating heavy machinery? They wrote that for her, poor thing. Again, that's something I don't suffer from. Kind of a cosmic joke that I don't need the medication as much and also don't suffer from its most common side effect.
Because of all this, I've tried to be a bit better on matters related to dust. Now, you might imagine that in a house with two cats, three dogs, and a six-year-old boy, there would be a fair amount of dust and hair to get up. I certainly imagined, but the reality is amazing. I feel like I gather enough animal hair every two days to make a small dog or cat. And enough dust that God could whip up another Adam at least twice a week, should He feel like it. Or if you're looking to start making your own island, I can help you out.
Before I stayed at home, the floor might get swept twice a week -- if that. Most likely it was once a week, Friday. That's when we have someone come over to do housecleaning. Yes, she still comes over. Cleaning was never my strong suit. And she does stuff I'd never even think of, like dusting off pictures on the wall. Anyway, I shudder to think of the amount of dust and hair and what-not she used to find.
I think I'd better go deal with the air filters now. They don't last three months at our house like the label says.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Time, Tasks, and Getting Off Your Duff
There are days when it seems you have so much to do that you just sort of sit there and don't do much of anything. You look at the list of things you need or want to do and it seems overwhelming. Where to start?
This certainly feels like a day that could happen. I have at least three phone calls I should make. I need to get some more dog food, milk, and 60-watt light bulbs. I wanted to clean out a device we originally purchased to hold bills but instead has morphed into a thing where we hold generic papers we can't decide what to do with. You know the sort of stuff, you need to keep it, but you don't need it every day. Where does it go? Where do you put it so you can find it again if you need it (preferably without having to search for an hour). You organized people with file systems you actually use can stop snickering now.
Then there's some laundry. And I wanted to get more air filters and change the old ones out. And dust the air vents. Spread some soil out in the area we are going to turn into an herb garden. Write some blog posts (one of which Blogger already ate as I write this one -- So I'm composing this in Notepad, just to be safe). Oh, and gather some materials and send them off to the bank.
***
Well, I didn't get it all done but I got some of it done. Did the dusting and laundry, got the dog food and light bulbs and milk. Made two out of three phone calls. Wrote blogger posts. Realized I needed to straighten out the kitchen and put away all the clean dishes. Amazing how little that seems, yet I spent almost 6 hours today doing it (and some incidentals like lunch).
I truly don't understand how time manages to pass that way.
This certainly feels like a day that could happen. I have at least three phone calls I should make. I need to get some more dog food, milk, and 60-watt light bulbs. I wanted to clean out a device we originally purchased to hold bills but instead has morphed into a thing where we hold generic papers we can't decide what to do with. You know the sort of stuff, you need to keep it, but you don't need it every day. Where does it go? Where do you put it so you can find it again if you need it (preferably without having to search for an hour). You organized people with file systems you actually use can stop snickering now.
Then there's some laundry. And I wanted to get more air filters and change the old ones out. And dust the air vents. Spread some soil out in the area we are going to turn into an herb garden. Write some blog posts (one of which Blogger already ate as I write this one -- So I'm composing this in Notepad, just to be safe). Oh, and gather some materials and send them off to the bank.
***
Well, I didn't get it all done but I got some of it done. Did the dusting and laundry, got the dog food and light bulbs and milk. Made two out of three phone calls. Wrote blogger posts. Realized I needed to straighten out the kitchen and put away all the clean dishes. Amazing how little that seems, yet I spent almost 6 hours today doing it (and some incidentals like lunch).
I truly don't understand how time manages to pass that way.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
The Smart Kid
I was "the smart kid" in school. I got the best grades, knew almost all the answers, raised my hand all the time, etc. I was the Hermione Granger of my time, only I was a guy and didn't even have to study the way she does. My lovely wife claims she wasn't that way in her school (something I doubt -- I suspect she was bored), but she does have her PhD and can see way deeper into a millstone than most (unless she's looking for her keys, but that's a different sort of thing).
So while there were no guarantees it would happen, Jacob was very likely to get a double dose of the gray matter. So far, that seems to be the case. We met with his teacher today for the regularly scheduled parent-teacher conferences at his school. And with one small exception, he's tops in everything. When it comes to reading, he's actually off the scale. Her main concern is keeping him from getting bored.
Pardon me a second while I strut...okay, I'm done.
Now, I do worry about this a bit. By the time I was in 4th grade or so, I had learned to wait and see if anyone else had raised their hands before raising mine. I'd also learned to be very careful about the answers I gave. I wasn't wrong much, but when I was wrong, people seemed to enjoy it a lot. It wasn't as if I was ridiculed for being smart as much as people resented what they saw as showing off.
And I did get bored. Eventually, I took to reading in class after being done with work and daydreaming a lot when the teacher spoke about something I already knew. And I think either thing can cause a kid to get turned off from learning. It didn't happen with me, but it could have.
I don't want my son to have to deal with either of these issues. In many ways, I think schools (at least the ones around here) seem to have striven to deal with that, but there is a limit to what they can do. And I really don't have the foggiest idea what I can do to help out.
So while there were no guarantees it would happen, Jacob was very likely to get a double dose of the gray matter. So far, that seems to be the case. We met with his teacher today for the regularly scheduled parent-teacher conferences at his school. And with one small exception, he's tops in everything. When it comes to reading, he's actually off the scale. Her main concern is keeping him from getting bored.
Pardon me a second while I strut...okay, I'm done.
Now, I do worry about this a bit. By the time I was in 4th grade or so, I had learned to wait and see if anyone else had raised their hands before raising mine. I'd also learned to be very careful about the answers I gave. I wasn't wrong much, but when I was wrong, people seemed to enjoy it a lot. It wasn't as if I was ridiculed for being smart as much as people resented what they saw as showing off.
And I did get bored. Eventually, I took to reading in class after being done with work and daydreaming a lot when the teacher spoke about something I already knew. And I think either thing can cause a kid to get turned off from learning. It didn't happen with me, but it could have.
I don't want my son to have to deal with either of these issues. In many ways, I think schools (at least the ones around here) seem to have striven to deal with that, but there is a limit to what they can do. And I really don't have the foggiest idea what I can do to help out.
Monday, September 27, 2004
Not for My Convenience
One thing that has become something of a refrain in the modern era is the issue of kids and their activities keeping families constantly on the go. I'm not sure who new this is; my wife describes times her mom spent the entire day shuttling her, her two sisters and her brother from one thing to another. Things weren't so bad in my family, but then I was an only child, and in my two-horse town, there wasn't a whole lot to do outside of school activites and the Little League.
Early on, my wife and I decided that we were going to restrict Jacob to two activities at any one time (preferably one physical and one cerebral), to prevent precisely that sort of shuttle existence we read about and occasionally saw. For about two years he did gymnastics, which he discovered while at the birthday party of one of his friends (a local gymnastics school allowed members to have birthdays there, pretty good way to drum up business). At the end of the summer, though, he finally tired of that wanted to do karate. I promised to look into it.
But before karate could happen, he expressed an interest in music. And so after some discussion, he began taking drum lessons about 8 weeks ago. He seems to have a reasonable aptitude for it. So we do that one day a week, plus 15 minutes (minimum) practice 4-5 days. And the time has come for me to get him ging on his karate classes. I've even done my due diligence and selected what seems to be the best place around. But karate is not a one day a week thing; its a two day thing. I hadn't known this at the time.
Which means that three days a week we will be trekking somewhere for an activity, not the two my wife and I originally had in mind.
I confess this issue has almost certainly caused me to procrastinate getting him in a class. Oh, I've had my excuses; wait until he had settled back into school, this was a week too busy for me to deal with the karate people, etc. What I'm really dealing with here is a desire to keep my own life simple, not his.
And thus I am reminded of something important. Despite our responsibility as parents to set appropriate limits, our kids need to be allowed to live their lives for themselves, not for our convenience.
Early on, my wife and I decided that we were going to restrict Jacob to two activities at any one time (preferably one physical and one cerebral), to prevent precisely that sort of shuttle existence we read about and occasionally saw. For about two years he did gymnastics, which he discovered while at the birthday party of one of his friends (a local gymnastics school allowed members to have birthdays there, pretty good way to drum up business). At the end of the summer, though, he finally tired of that wanted to do karate. I promised to look into it.
But before karate could happen, he expressed an interest in music. And so after some discussion, he began taking drum lessons about 8 weeks ago. He seems to have a reasonable aptitude for it. So we do that one day a week, plus 15 minutes (minimum) practice 4-5 days. And the time has come for me to get him ging on his karate classes. I've even done my due diligence and selected what seems to be the best place around. But karate is not a one day a week thing; its a two day thing. I hadn't known this at the time.
Which means that three days a week we will be trekking somewhere for an activity, not the two my wife and I originally had in mind.
I confess this issue has almost certainly caused me to procrastinate getting him in a class. Oh, I've had my excuses; wait until he had settled back into school, this was a week too busy for me to deal with the karate people, etc. What I'm really dealing with here is a desire to keep my own life simple, not his.
And thus I am reminded of something important. Despite our responsibility as parents to set appropriate limits, our kids need to be allowed to live their lives for themselves, not for our convenience.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
I Coulda Been a Contenda!
I've discussed mostly nice things about being a stay at home dad, so I suppose its only fair to consider some downsides as well. Or at least potential downsides.
At all but the most toxic of workplaces, you have a group of friends you can commisserate with. You go to lunch, you occasionally have a few beers after work, stand around the coffee machine, that sort of thing. Naturally, no workplace, no circle.
Granted, there are these sorts of groups, where dads can get together to recreate that workplace socializing. And some guys seem able to break into and be comfortable in the "mommy club" (for lack of a better term).
The other possible downside is a bit more tricky, and also, I think, a lot more insidious. Let's call it the "mid-life crisis". Most of us have something that we're good at. Some of us even know what it is. And most books about getting the right job try to find a combination of things you can do and things you enjoy doing.
While I think most people enjoy parenting, I would hazard a guess that relatively few think they have a flair for housework (for lack of a better term) or that their talents run in that direction, or that they truly enjoy sweeping the floors and folding laundry.
At some point, sooner or later, I think for a fair number of people the question has to arise: "Is this the best use of my abilities? Am I wasting my talents?"
There is a distinction between someone who "works from home" and someone for whom home is the work. And sometimes figuring all that out can be relatively easy. In his entertaining book Housebroken, writer Dave Eddie quickly realized that he was not a good fit for almost any kind of typical job, and that his wife was better suited to be the family breadwinner. He became a writer/stay at home dad.
For Dave, it was fairly easy. But if you read Po Bronson's excellent book What Should I Do With My Life?, we find a lot of other people, some of whom did not find it so easy.
No one wants to wake up ten years later feeling like they made all the wrong choices, and stay at home types are as vulnerable to that as anyone else. It's a truism that no-one facing death ever seems to say "I wish I'd spent more time at the office" but somehow I don't you'd be human if you didn't sometimes wonder if you would have been happier or more useful to society doing something else.
Certainly this is a feeling anyone can get, but I bring it up because I think stay at home dads are likely to be particularly vulnerable to it. There is a tendency, I think, for people to sort of "end up" in careers they had neither expected nor planned for. Sometimes this works out great, sometimes its neutral, but it can be disastrous.
Some SAHD's have already thought about it, and power to them. I'm thinking about it now myself, wanting to be sure whatever I choose to do is what I want to do and what will be best for my family. You be sure and think about it too.
At all but the most toxic of workplaces, you have a group of friends you can commisserate with. You go to lunch, you occasionally have a few beers after work, stand around the coffee machine, that sort of thing. Naturally, no workplace, no circle.
Granted, there are these sorts of groups, where dads can get together to recreate that workplace socializing. And some guys seem able to break into and be comfortable in the "mommy club" (for lack of a better term).
The other possible downside is a bit more tricky, and also, I think, a lot more insidious. Let's call it the "mid-life crisis". Most of us have something that we're good at. Some of us even know what it is. And most books about getting the right job try to find a combination of things you can do and things you enjoy doing.
While I think most people enjoy parenting, I would hazard a guess that relatively few think they have a flair for housework (for lack of a better term) or that their talents run in that direction, or that they truly enjoy sweeping the floors and folding laundry.
At some point, sooner or later, I think for a fair number of people the question has to arise: "Is this the best use of my abilities? Am I wasting my talents?"
There is a distinction between someone who "works from home" and someone for whom home is the work. And sometimes figuring all that out can be relatively easy. In his entertaining book Housebroken, writer Dave Eddie quickly realized that he was not a good fit for almost any kind of typical job, and that his wife was better suited to be the family breadwinner. He became a writer/stay at home dad.
For Dave, it was fairly easy. But if you read Po Bronson's excellent book What Should I Do With My Life?, we find a lot of other people, some of whom did not find it so easy.
No one wants to wake up ten years later feeling like they made all the wrong choices, and stay at home types are as vulnerable to that as anyone else. It's a truism that no-one facing death ever seems to say "I wish I'd spent more time at the office" but somehow I don't you'd be human if you didn't sometimes wonder if you would have been happier or more useful to society doing something else.
Certainly this is a feeling anyone can get, but I bring it up because I think stay at home dads are likely to be particularly vulnerable to it. There is a tendency, I think, for people to sort of "end up" in careers they had neither expected nor planned for. Sometimes this works out great, sometimes its neutral, but it can be disastrous.
Some SAHD's have already thought about it, and power to them. I'm thinking about it now myself, wanting to be sure whatever I choose to do is what I want to do and what will be best for my family. You be sure and think about it too.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
The Cable Monster
This isn't a problem unique to SAHD's, but its one you're going to have to deal with. Television. How much of it? And for that matter, how much computer time, playstation time, and whatever else is out there that isn't akin to white-water rafting followed by a ten-mile hike in full packs.
People like to complain about how much TV kids watch, and what they watch, but who's in charge of the TV? Hmmm? Helloooo? Yeah, you are, and as tempting as it is to just park the little beasties there as long as they want, we all know we really shouldn't do that.
We decided that our son can have two hours, total TV and computer time in a day. How he splits it up is up to him, but that's all he gets. There are exceptions for special movie nights, colds and injuries, rainy days, sick dads, etc, but the point is that there is a limit.
And in addition to time limits, there are limits on what he can watch. Well, no duh, we aren't going to let him check out Naughty Night Nurses or pretty much anything on Spike TV, but even kids programming can be exceptionally lame or even offensive to my wife and I. And very little of it is educational in any sense of the term. SpongeBob is reasonably inoffensive to me, but its just cotton candy. And our view is, if we limit his time on the TV, what he does watch should be of some redeeming value.
It gets trickier as they get older. As insipid as it is, Barney (is that still on) and its cousins do fairly well at hammering home the idea that you should be nice, share, etc. But these shows tend to be for the really younger crowd, from 2-4. You have to move on, and find something else that might engage their minds and be entertaining. We're not trying to run a joyless Gulag here, after all.
PBS kids shows (once you are safely past the Barney stage) and the Disney Channel are pretty safe if not always terribly inspired. A lot of the Nickolodean shows are actively good, like Blues Clues and Dora the Explorer.
Other shows that I found really good in the past, in that he liked them and they actually taught you something besides "be nice to people" were shows like Stanley on Disney, Liberty's Kids, now syndicated on the WB (previously on PBS), the Magic School Bus (also a way cool set of books. Note there are two sets, the originals, plus newer ones based on TV show episodes) running on The Learning Channel, and right now, CyberChase on PBS.
Stanley is about a 6-year old who loves animals, and each episode contains two short stories where Stanley learns something about life via animals.
Liberty's Kids is a totally cool show covering the American Revolutionary War, from the Boston Tea Party through the creation of the Constitution. Its seen mainly through the eyes of three (miraculously non-aging) kids who are apprentice newspaper reports for Ben Franklins Pennsylvania gazette. It strikes a nice balance between being rah-rah and noting the occasional warts of the Americans.
The Magic School Bus (theme song sung by Little Richard -- no joke) is about the science adventures of a class and their wacky teacher Ms. Frizzle. They get shrunk, go back in time, inside volcanoes, etc. learning about all sorts of science stuff along the way.
Cyberchase is a a show about three kids who work to foil the schemes on the evil Hacker to take over the cyberworld. Along the way, it does a cool job teaching math and logic concepts.
As I noted earlier, kids grow.
Some of this stuff (the Nick shows especially) are not geared for a 6-year old. Jacob finds them boring and babyish. Perhaps in some cases its just because he's seen every episode ten times. Even little kids have their limits when it comes to repetition.
Timing is a bit of an issue as well. Magic School Bus comes on at 7:35AM CST. Jake is on the bus at 7:15. School starts at around 8AM all over the state of Texas. MSB is a great show, but who's watching? The Mountain and Pacific Time zones, I suppose, but those of us further east are stuck unless we Tivo it or manage to work the VCR. Other of the Nick shows come on later, geared to younger stay-at-home kids.
At our house these days, we do CyberChase at 6AM, then follow it with part of a VCR or DVD rented from Blockbuster for the remaining half-hour. We let him watch these things while eating breakfast, getting dressed, and generally emerging from the early-morning coma that characterizes my wife's side of the family (she jump-starts the process by fixing a double-size mug of coffee that probably violates certain FDA regulations) and also affects me to a lesser extent. Without the tube to provide him a bit of groggy focus, I truly think he would fall right back to sleep, face-first into his organic-wheat waffles. And we're putting him to be about as early as we can already. When he gets home from school, he typically hits it again until time's up or his buddy from across the street comes over (TV and/or the computer always goes off if someone comes to play. That rule is iron-clad), and depending on homework, etc.
So anyway, think about your kids TV, give my shows a try, feel free to suggest some others, and remember that, when in doubt, Scooby Doo is eternal.
People like to complain about how much TV kids watch, and what they watch, but who's in charge of the TV? Hmmm? Helloooo? Yeah, you are, and as tempting as it is to just park the little beasties there as long as they want, we all know we really shouldn't do that.
We decided that our son can have two hours, total TV and computer time in a day. How he splits it up is up to him, but that's all he gets. There are exceptions for special movie nights, colds and injuries, rainy days, sick dads, etc, but the point is that there is a limit.
And in addition to time limits, there are limits on what he can watch. Well, no duh, we aren't going to let him check out Naughty Night Nurses or pretty much anything on Spike TV, but even kids programming can be exceptionally lame or even offensive to my wife and I. And very little of it is educational in any sense of the term. SpongeBob is reasonably inoffensive to me, but its just cotton candy. And our view is, if we limit his time on the TV, what he does watch should be of some redeeming value.
It gets trickier as they get older. As insipid as it is, Barney (is that still on) and its cousins do fairly well at hammering home the idea that you should be nice, share, etc. But these shows tend to be for the really younger crowd, from 2-4. You have to move on, and find something else that might engage their minds and be entertaining. We're not trying to run a joyless Gulag here, after all.
PBS kids shows (once you are safely past the Barney stage) and the Disney Channel are pretty safe if not always terribly inspired. A lot of the Nickolodean shows are actively good, like Blues Clues and Dora the Explorer.
Other shows that I found really good in the past, in that he liked them and they actually taught you something besides "be nice to people" were shows like Stanley on Disney, Liberty's Kids, now syndicated on the WB (previously on PBS), the Magic School Bus (also a way cool set of books. Note there are two sets, the originals, plus newer ones based on TV show episodes) running on The Learning Channel, and right now, CyberChase on PBS.
Stanley is about a 6-year old who loves animals, and each episode contains two short stories where Stanley learns something about life via animals.
Liberty's Kids is a totally cool show covering the American Revolutionary War, from the Boston Tea Party through the creation of the Constitution. Its seen mainly through the eyes of three (miraculously non-aging) kids who are apprentice newspaper reports for Ben Franklins Pennsylvania gazette. It strikes a nice balance between being rah-rah and noting the occasional warts of the Americans.
The Magic School Bus (theme song sung by Little Richard -- no joke) is about the science adventures of a class and their wacky teacher Ms. Frizzle. They get shrunk, go back in time, inside volcanoes, etc. learning about all sorts of science stuff along the way.
Cyberchase is a a show about three kids who work to foil the schemes on the evil Hacker to take over the cyberworld. Along the way, it does a cool job teaching math and logic concepts.
As I noted earlier, kids grow.
Some of this stuff (the Nick shows especially) are not geared for a 6-year old. Jacob finds them boring and babyish. Perhaps in some cases its just because he's seen every episode ten times. Even little kids have their limits when it comes to repetition.
Timing is a bit of an issue as well. Magic School Bus comes on at 7:35AM CST. Jake is on the bus at 7:15. School starts at around 8AM all over the state of Texas. MSB is a great show, but who's watching? The Mountain and Pacific Time zones, I suppose, but those of us further east are stuck unless we Tivo it or manage to work the VCR. Other of the Nick shows come on later, geared to younger stay-at-home kids.
At our house these days, we do CyberChase at 6AM, then follow it with part of a VCR or DVD rented from Blockbuster for the remaining half-hour. We let him watch these things while eating breakfast, getting dressed, and generally emerging from the early-morning coma that characterizes my wife's side of the family (she jump-starts the process by fixing a double-size mug of coffee that probably violates certain FDA regulations) and also affects me to a lesser extent. Without the tube to provide him a bit of groggy focus, I truly think he would fall right back to sleep, face-first into his organic-wheat waffles. And we're putting him to be about as early as we can already. When he gets home from school, he typically hits it again until time's up or his buddy from across the street comes over (TV and/or the computer always goes off if someone comes to play. That rule is iron-clad), and depending on homework, etc.
So anyway, think about your kids TV, give my shows a try, feel free to suggest some others, and remember that, when in doubt, Scooby Doo is eternal.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Food Selection Issues
One thing about doing more of the shopping on your own is that you pay more attention to labels. And you really start to wonder about how things are presented. "Fruit snacks" for kids are an example. They generally say the things contain real fruit juice and are a good source of vitamin C. A better source than what they don't say. I suppose 10% of your child's daily allotment of C isn't bad for a little bag of chewy things, but you pay for that with an insane amount of sugar.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no sugar Nazi (my morning tea or coffee probably contains enough sugar to power the local hummingbird population for weeks). But its kinda crazy to present these snacks as healthy when they really aren't much more healthy than your old-fashioned Hershey's chocolate bar.
Organic foods are a small but fast growing segment of the food industry. I don't think I had even heard of the organic food movement before I met my wife, almost 10 years ago now. Granted, as a certified sandal-wearing graduate of Cal-Berkeley, she had a head start on me. After many years of shopping together and being alternately enlightened or befuddled by the nomenclature, I've begun to garner a better appreciation of all this.
The basics of organic are: no chemical pesticides, no artificial fertilizers, no antibiotics, no growth hormones, etc. etc. As close to natural as possible (there many variations, but let's stick to the simple case for now). I suppose the exemplars of this trend are the grocery stores like Whole Foods. WF sells non-organic stuff as well, but its all pretty clearly labeled. And they are one of the fastest growing grocery chains in the US.
Organically grown food is still a bit boutique. I'm not sure we can feed the whole world this way, but I'm happy enough to do my bit for the environment by spending a little bit more.
Trish had told me that orgo chicken tasted better than regular. Swore by it. To be honest, I'm not sure I was able to tell the difference. But you know where I can tell the difference? A big difference? Beef. Orgo beef tastes better. Whether because its grass-fed or all the other stuff, its just flat tastes better and is more tender (tenderer?) to boot.
So I seek out the natural beef products when shopping. And I treat "fruit snacks" like candy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no sugar Nazi (my morning tea or coffee probably contains enough sugar to power the local hummingbird population for weeks). But its kinda crazy to present these snacks as healthy when they really aren't much more healthy than your old-fashioned Hershey's chocolate bar.
Organic foods are a small but fast growing segment of the food industry. I don't think I had even heard of the organic food movement before I met my wife, almost 10 years ago now. Granted, as a certified sandal-wearing graduate of Cal-Berkeley, she had a head start on me. After many years of shopping together and being alternately enlightened or befuddled by the nomenclature, I've begun to garner a better appreciation of all this.
The basics of organic are: no chemical pesticides, no artificial fertilizers, no antibiotics, no growth hormones, etc. etc. As close to natural as possible (there many variations, but let's stick to the simple case for now). I suppose the exemplars of this trend are the grocery stores like Whole Foods. WF sells non-organic stuff as well, but its all pretty clearly labeled. And they are one of the fastest growing grocery chains in the US.
Organically grown food is still a bit boutique. I'm not sure we can feed the whole world this way, but I'm happy enough to do my bit for the environment by spending a little bit more.
Trish had told me that orgo chicken tasted better than regular. Swore by it. To be honest, I'm not sure I was able to tell the difference. But you know where I can tell the difference? A big difference? Beef. Orgo beef tastes better. Whether because its grass-fed or all the other stuff, its just flat tastes better and is more tender (tenderer?) to boot.
So I seek out the natural beef products when shopping. And I treat "fruit snacks" like candy.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Clean Up on Aisle 4
Because it makes sense, I do most of the shopping these days. Grocery shopping is one of those skills we guys sort of lose upon marriage. Well, I did anyway. Granted, this assumes I ever really had grocery shopping skills to start with, which is not certain.
Anyway...
Once you're doing this again though, you realize the importance of the List. If you don't have a List, you're to buy all kinds of stuff and get home to discover that no matter how hard you try, potato mix, rice pilaf, and cous-cous simply don't add up to a satisfying meal. So you've spent twice what you should have, and all you get out of it are overfull shelves. And another trip to the store.
So first you need a Menu. Whether for 3 days or for 7, you need a menu of meals. Then you make your List, based on that menu, and what you know you're going to need of other stuff, like paper towels and what-not. Then you go to the store and try to stick to the List. This is hard for me. I can enter a store intent on only buying a half-gallon of milk and stagger out with three bags of chips, some cookies, breakfast cereal, toothpaste, etc. Oh, yeah, and the milk.
But as bad as it can be even with a List, doing without is much harder. Trust me on this one. Stick to your List! But don't get anal about it. I mean, if you walk down the aisle and realize you need more ziploc bags, don't leave them on the shelf just because they didn't make the List. But as much as possible, if you need to deviate from the List, deviate with stuff you know you are going to use.
While I haven't actually tried this yet, it seems to me that it would be okay to try different things if you set an amount to play with first. Say $10 or $20, or whatever your budget allows for. You can try as many non-staple non-list things as you like, as long as you don't go over your limit.
Next time, a word about organics.
Anyway...
Once you're doing this again though, you realize the importance of the List. If you don't have a List, you're to buy all kinds of stuff and get home to discover that no matter how hard you try, potato mix, rice pilaf, and cous-cous simply don't add up to a satisfying meal. So you've spent twice what you should have, and all you get out of it are overfull shelves. And another trip to the store.
So first you need a Menu. Whether for 3 days or for 7, you need a menu of meals. Then you make your List, based on that menu, and what you know you're going to need of other stuff, like paper towels and what-not. Then you go to the store and try to stick to the List. This is hard for me. I can enter a store intent on only buying a half-gallon of milk and stagger out with three bags of chips, some cookies, breakfast cereal, toothpaste, etc. Oh, yeah, and the milk.
But as bad as it can be even with a List, doing without is much harder. Trust me on this one. Stick to your List! But don't get anal about it. I mean, if you walk down the aisle and realize you need more ziploc bags, don't leave them on the shelf just because they didn't make the List. But as much as possible, if you need to deviate from the List, deviate with stuff you know you are going to use.
While I haven't actually tried this yet, it seems to me that it would be okay to try different things if you set an amount to play with first. Say $10 or $20, or whatever your budget allows for. You can try as many non-staple non-list things as you like, as long as you don't go over your limit.
Next time, a word about organics.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
What Do You Do?
America is a place where people seem to define themselves by their career. When talking to people, inevitably the question arises "What do you do?" meaning: what is your job?
So far, my answer has been, either one of two, depending on my mood: 1) "I work at home" which is true, if a tad misleading, or 2) "I'm a trophy husband".
I don't think the out and proud RebelDad types would especially like either answer. But if you're going to do this, you need to decide what your answer is going to be. In my case, I can at least make the excuse that I've not fully committed to the SAHD lifestyle. I might decide to go back to full-time work come January. I might decide to become a writer or an actor or something that allows me most of the benefits of the SAHD way of life while still technically working, allowing me to answer the WDYD question differently.
But its about roles you know? SAHD types are assumed somehow to be...wimpier than the average. But average what? Accountant? Insurance salesman? Computer programmer? I've done that last one myself, and people, despite our atavistic notions that this somehow stands in for hunting bears and defending the tribe from rampaging lions, it just ain't the same thing. I've actually done real He-Man work like herding cattle, and let me tell ya, I don't care how underhanded you can be at office politics, feeling like a stallion because you just pulled the rug out from under Marketing is not the stuff of which legends are made.
Still, even if people figure that out, its going to be a while before being a SAHD becomes even as accepted as either of choices women get to make -- and any woman will tell you that no matter what they choose, someone is going to take issue with it. So you need to make your peace with whatever you choose, because people aren't going to make it for you.
So far, my answer has been, either one of two, depending on my mood: 1) "I work at home" which is true, if a tad misleading, or 2) "I'm a trophy husband".
I don't think the out and proud RebelDad types would especially like either answer. But if you're going to do this, you need to decide what your answer is going to be. In my case, I can at least make the excuse that I've not fully committed to the SAHD lifestyle. I might decide to go back to full-time work come January. I might decide to become a writer or an actor or something that allows me most of the benefits of the SAHD way of life while still technically working, allowing me to answer the WDYD question differently.
But its about roles you know? SAHD types are assumed somehow to be...wimpier than the average. But average what? Accountant? Insurance salesman? Computer programmer? I've done that last one myself, and people, despite our atavistic notions that this somehow stands in for hunting bears and defending the tribe from rampaging lions, it just ain't the same thing. I've actually done real He-Man work like herding cattle, and let me tell ya, I don't care how underhanded you can be at office politics, feeling like a stallion because you just pulled the rug out from under Marketing is not the stuff of which legends are made.
Still, even if people figure that out, its going to be a while before being a SAHD becomes even as accepted as either of choices women get to make -- and any woman will tell you that no matter what they choose, someone is going to take issue with it. So you need to make your peace with whatever you choose, because people aren't going to make it for you.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Miscellaneous Friday
First, a thank you to RebelDad for noticing me. If I can ever figure out how to change my template without frying my dialup connection, I'll add him to my blogroll. Heck, I'll actually get to have a blogroll.
Today was Shield Parade day at my son's elementary school. I was working the last time and didn't get to see it. It's also hamburger cookout day, and I'm going to be there to help out. Didn't get to last time because I was working. Are we seeing a theme here?
Trish my wife, says that I need to make clear that one reason I'm getting to be a stay at home dad (unless we/I decide to change) is that she loves her job. If she didn't she'd feel jealous and resentful, irrational as that would be (as she fully and freely admitted). Also, more positively, she also feels that there is no reason I shouldn't love my job as well, whatever job that turns out to be -- including continuing a full-time stay-at-home track.
Its funny, because if the situation were reversed, I wouldn't feel resentful -- but that's because I'm a guy. I grew up with my mom at home, and that's still the norm. If someone is at home, its the mom. And if you (the man) have a job that sucks, too bad. Find a better one or stick it out.
Next week, I think I'm going to try talking about what this sort of thing means financially, unless something more compelling occurs to me in the mean time (even as I write this, I'm getting some idea about role issues. Hmmm). Enjoy Labor Day weekend!
Today was Shield Parade day at my son's elementary school. I was working the last time and didn't get to see it. It's also hamburger cookout day, and I'm going to be there to help out. Didn't get to last time because I was working. Are we seeing a theme here?
Trish my wife, says that I need to make clear that one reason I'm getting to be a stay at home dad (unless we/I decide to change) is that she loves her job. If she didn't she'd feel jealous and resentful, irrational as that would be (as she fully and freely admitted). Also, more positively, she also feels that there is no reason I shouldn't love my job as well, whatever job that turns out to be -- including continuing a full-time stay-at-home track.
Its funny, because if the situation were reversed, I wouldn't feel resentful -- but that's because I'm a guy. I grew up with my mom at home, and that's still the norm. If someone is at home, its the mom. And if you (the man) have a job that sucks, too bad. Find a better one or stick it out.
Next week, I think I'm going to try talking about what this sort of thing means financially, unless something more compelling occurs to me in the mean time (even as I write this, I'm getting some idea about role issues. Hmmm). Enjoy Labor Day weekend!
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