Friday, December 10, 2004

No. Yes. Maybe.

Last night, I checked my Site Meter and was surprised to see I had over 25 hits. I figured someone must have linked to me. Sure enough, there were many from Rebel Dad. So I moseyed on over to see what he had to say, which was that I was walking away from the title of "at-home dad." Am I? Well, yes and no.

In my last post, I stated that I was choosing a certain way to try and approach life. I wanted to try certain things, and was uncomfortable with the "pure" label of a stay at home dad, even if it was likely that was what I was going to be in practice. In re-reading, it has become apparent that when I talked about writing and acting, it might have sounded as though these were to be, well, careers, that would put Jacob back in day-care…


One problem with blogging (or any sort of personaly narrative communication, come to think of it) is that you occasionally forget that other people have not necessarily been privy to your thoughts and ruminations of the past several months, in all their branching, back-tracking, and wandering 'round in circles past the notions counter one-two-three, glory.

I don't intend for either of those activities to be careers. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to pursue them (other than I like writing and I really really like acting) was that they would allow me to continue doing something I'm enjoying quite a bit, namely, being around the home, taking care of things, and being around my son for more than a couple of waking hours each day.

It seems to me that what I object to on some level is the seeming limitation of the label of "stay at home dad". It strikes me as every bit as limiting and non-explanatory as the older label of "housewife" or "homemaker" was to another generation. Perhaps that is just my own biases rearing up too strongly. Perhaps to many other SAHD contains multitudes. I don't know.

I wonder. Has this cleared up anything, or is it still clear as mud? Am I simultaneously avoiding the title of SAHD and not wanting to "abandon" those who have embraced it with pride? Am I conflicted amd writing way too much about a simple matter of nomenclature?

I tell ya, its a lot easier to tell people how to make a PB&J sandwich that won't go soggy in your lunchbox.

My lovely and brilliant wife once said that I had a calling to be a husband and a father. So while my lifestyle choice may not qualify in the Census Bureau's eyes, or even in my own self-image, I intend to honor that call, and hope that I can pursue acting and writing in addition to that.


Anonymous said...

You know, Jammer, I'm pretty incredibly jealous of what you're doing. I would have loved to have been able to do it.

But I have having to create a login to post a comment!


Jammer said...

Sorry about that Harry. At the time, I couldn't add the Haloscan comments for odd technical reasons. Now, I'd hate to lose the comments people have already left. Or would I? Hmmm....

Anyway, you can post anonymously, it just takes an extra mouse click or two.

Philip said...

Well said. I've railed over the at-home monicker before, I'm sure I will again. You lay out some of the problems pretty clearly. Now how come you don't have a solution! Just kidding. After five years and three kids, I've found that people don't get it one way or the other, so I stopped worrying over it.